Building your family with a surrogate

There are two main types of surrogacy:

• Traditional surrogacy
  In this type of surrogacy, the surrogate provides her egg, and the male intended parent provides the sperm through artificial insemination. Emotional and legal issues can complicate the situation when the surrogate has a genetic connection to the child, making this type of surrogacy less common.
• Gestational surrogacy
  Here, the surrogate has no genetic connection to the child. The intended parents use IVF to create an embryo that is transferred to the surrogate. The embryo may be created from the intended parents’ egg and sperm, or donor eggs, sperm, or embryos may be used.

An ideal surrogate is motivated to help others build a family and understands the risks involved. She should have similar goals and preferences, often called surrogacy plans, as the intended parent(s).

The American Society of Reproductive Medicine recommends surrogate carriers: 

• Be at least 21 years of age and healthy
• Have a stable social environment
• Have had at least one pregnancy with no complications that resulted in the birth of a healthy child

A surrogate may be someone you know—like a family member or friend—or unknown. A surrogacy agency can help match you with a potential surrogate, as well as manage and support you through every step of the surrogacy process.

Your surrogacy professional—either a surrogacy agency or a surrogacy attorney—will recommend screenings for the carrier. These may include:

• Medical, social, and drug history for the surrogate and her family
• Birth records from previous deliveries
• Medical workup to confirm reproductive health
• Drug tests for the gestational carrier and her partner
• Background checks to ensure no prior criminal activity that could impact safety
• In-home assessment to discuss motivation, concerns, and her partner’s commitment
• Counseling and support

For more information on the screening process for specific agencies, visit surrogate.com. 

In surrogacy, steps must be taken to ensure fair treatment of the gestational carrier. Before the process begins, an attorney will become involved to educate and discuss financial compensation, escrow accounts, insurance, and parentage.

The attorney will also create a legal surrogacy contract, which is usually one of two types: 

• Compensated contracts
  The surrogate is paid for her time in addition to all incurred expenses.
• Compassionate contracts
  The surrogate, typically a family member or friend, accepts no financial compensation, but intended parents pay medical and legal bills.

You can read more about other aspects to consider for surrogacy here. 

Counseling is an important part of the surrogacy process for everyone involved. Typically, you and your surrogate (along with her partner if appropriate) will meet separately with a counselor for psychological assessment. Later, a group session is conducted to discuss roles, expectations, and potential outcomes.

You and your surrogate need to be protected and understand the emotional, medical, financial, and legal issues. If financial gain is the only motivation for your surrogate, this should be a concern.